What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 03:42
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
WA whooping cough cases soar as vaccination rates drop - The Seattle Times
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Can a bride cheat on her groom at a wedding?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Ron Killings Confirms Report That Nick Khan Brought Him Back To WWE - Wrestlezone
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I will be 64.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What are some current examples of injustice?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
We were not on the streets..
Cum at omnis doloremque totam.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
One cannot live in the past .
Belmont Stakes 2025: Odds, horses, prediction, complete bettor’s guide - New York Post
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was scared of men, in general
Several Psychiatric Disorders Share The Same Root Cause, Study Finds - ScienceAlert
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
20-Year Mystery of The Muon's Wiggle May Finally Be Solved - ScienceAlert
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She found it foreign!.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
They are buried together, in the same grave..
All the time i was locked up.
What are the best AI tools for content creators in 2025?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I don,t even have a pension.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But, we were locked up after school.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I said to her
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
(And it was in our own minds.)
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
What did i know ?
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I could never make a relationship work though!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Comes on , in middle age.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Would this be the day?
I have no regrets .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Put me off passion for life!!
But it wasn’t much.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My life is so biszare .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Im still living with it.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She was in good health!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And i lived it daily.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I waited trembling.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She loved him until the end.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My family never makes their pension either.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was 9 years of age.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I think the readers, may guess!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Why did i forgive my father ?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He knew the spot.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So whats the point in blame.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I write beautiful poetry .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He resisted the act ,that day.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Who then, do I blame.?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
When she asked me how she looked .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She married twice! .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She wouldn,t have been !
I couldn’t, believe it.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
This is soul school!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I was seconnd youngest,
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
We all went to grammer schools
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Ive learnt so much.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was very sick at this time too.
So, i spoilt her more .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
It was going to be , some day.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.